Sunday, March 22, 2009

I am at an odd spot

I guess this is probably the best place to come to be when you are at an odd spot.

We just found out last evening that my FIL passed away. While he has in many ways not really been with us for awhile (dimentia/alzheimer-ish type syndrome), it still is leaving an empty spot inside right now. You see I was lucky enough to have him be really sweet on me. My Beloved's former wife and he could not have been on more opposite ends of anything. Neither one liked the other...period - dot . But he and I really hit it off from the very beginning and it only got better from there. We were able to create for him something that he decided he held very dear - a sense of FAMILY. He let us know each year from the very first one that we were married, that he was so happy to come and spend time with his son and his grandsons, and me and also my parents. I would let him sample all the cookies when they came fresh out of the oven... he was the official tester for several years. When his health failed to the point where they were no longer able to travel to us for the holidays I felt like a bit of something was missing. Don't get me wrong - having your MIL & FIL arrive on Dec 17th and depart on Jan 7th, was not always a picnic. Yes, they stayed here in our house, and did not have a car or the security to borrow ours... so there were definitely challenges. I did not always agree with the way they handled things with the boys, or the things they felt were perfectly acceptable (which were totally not to me).... but for him there was always a soft spot - an extra hug, a smile, a thank you.

Over the last few years he has gradually slipped away, and I have watched my Beloved shed tears over missing his Pop even though he was still here in body, and sometimes spirit... but I guess now is my turn... The Bear, The Man, Pop.... that is what he was to his children - often stern, hard, and down right cantankerous, over bearing, and short.... but to me, for the most part, he was Dick, more like a Teddy Bear, polite, appreciative, helpful, and grateful. I guess in some ways I am the lucky one. I knew a side of The Man, not many others got to see. For that I am grateful, I am glad he crossed my path, and that of his son (my Beloved), and his grandsons. I think they all learned alot of good lessons from him. I hope they will hold those lessons close to their hearts for many years to come - especially when and if the boys have their own children.

Thank You for raising a son who means the world to me, and who I could not imagine life without. I wish you grace, and rest, and peace.....

4 comments:

Ashley said...

I am so sorry for you loss Cheryl! I know what you are going through right now & it is a hard time. I cannot say when you will or if you will every have that feeling go away. My feeling of emptiness has not gone away & I don't think it will ever will. :(

Romelda McKee said...

My heart grieves for you. I never knew my FIL but I felt this sorrow when I lost my MIL. Dwell on the good memories and be happy for the good relationship. So many never even like their inlaws much less felt sad at their loss. I have a hug waiting to see you.

CJ said...

So sorry for your loss. my sympathy to you and your family

twinsetellen said...

It is wonderful that you had such a relationship with him that you feel the loss now. Still, I hope that hole is soon filled with good memories.